Body Imaging

What’s it all about anyway? For myself, I often struggled with my weight as a child. I was taught not to waste food and to finish what I was given. I can remember my mother saying that there were a lot of hungry children out there. That part may be true, but then there is obesity. We never use the word obesity while growing up, we were just grateful for what we had as a family. As long as we had a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes to wear and footwear we were happy. We were urbanized and lived in poverty.
Where am I going with this may depend on the viewer. I write what my heart desires and what I am feeling and the thought of Body Imaging came to mind. I have many friends and we come in different shapes and sizes, such as, tall, short, and from obesity to slender. What counts is the support that we have for each other. We communicate all over through email, face-book, and chat lines. The network of support just keeps getting stronger. We talk about anything and everything except for obesity. It wasn’t until I came across a comment that a friend of a friend jokingly made it says:

I figured out why I’m fat! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says “for extra volume and body”. I’m going to start using “Dawn” dish soap. It says “dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove”.

It may be filled with humor, but it can take offence to some people especially to those that are not comfortable with their weight.

I have to say though my workouts are going great and I’m back on track. I was off from the gym in January from a tailbone injury I had. I was told to talk it easy and a part from taken it easy I gained 5 lbs. It was a bit disappointing to me, because I had already lost 24 lbs before the New Year. Now, I have increased the weights and I am building more muscle mass, eating more protein, and reducing my carbohydrates at night. It sure feels good I tell you and at the same time I can focus on school. I also, attend the Body Pump classes that are offered at Good Life Fitness. This consists of a full body workout with cardio and endurance. If the Yoga class is offered while I am there I go, because there is nothing like a good stretch and leaves you feeling at peace about yourself.
Being born and raised in the city you come to realize how much urban living has to offer. The groceries here are affordable depending on your income and family size. There a two universities, but the University of Manitoba being the largest, which is probably why so many students chose to come here. They are building and extending the residences at Tache Hall and Pembina Hall. There is a high demand for campus living, which I notice that most students either come from the northern communities find it easier to get around, without having to worry about getting lost. The food that is provided for them is essential to healthy eating and there is also a gym here that some of my friends go to it’s called the Gritty Grotto, a name that speaks for itself. I have no idea how the name was derived.

Aside from campus living and entertainment, there is affordable living in the downtown area, and plenty of entertainment. There are also numerous places like the library to go and study. Some prefer to study at Timmies, but to me that’s a place to socialize. I guess whatever works.

Then we have rural living. It costs about $6 for a 4L of milk and the soda drinks and chips are a lot cheaper. Now why is that? Makes you wonder why there are so many of our people getting sick today. Actually, I did some research about on and off reserve Aboriginals and why there are getting sick for one of my papers. I just can’t help wonder why our people are forgetting about where they come from. My roots are in Ontario and I am an Oji-Cree/Irish woman with status, a choice that my mother had made long ago. The one skill I love the most is fishing, I find it inspirational at times. My fishing spot is away from the city, it is quiet, and very peaceful. I don’t have to walk far after I get out of the car, but years ago our people did not have that luxury. Even to go to a sweat-lodge out in Bacon Ridge, Manitoba, which would take about three to four days by walking, today it only takes three to four hours by driving.  As our people hunted for food, deer, moose, or fish they walked miles and miles and that was there source of exercise. I have a lot of friends that live on-reserve and maybe I was not born and raised in the reservation, but I do see what is getting lost. Our culture, language, heritage are important, but so is our education.

As a child, I spoke my Ojibwe tongue and being a ward of the Children’s Aid Society (Child & Family Services), you forget your language because you’re in unfamiliar territory where I was not allowed to speak Ojibwe only English. At the University of Manitoba, the Ojibwe language course is offered as well as other languages. The classes are open to all that are registered in the course. I took the course in two parts, because I was prepping for other courses, and I excelled both parts. I remember when I spoke to an elder in the first part, when I told him that I have not spoken Ojibwe since I was a child and that I was not sure if I would do well speaking the language. The elder then shared with me and said, “aaha, if you spoke your language as a child…then your spirit will remember..”. I was clueless to what he was talking about. After taking the course and doing a lot better than I anticipated, I knew then what he meant. Today, I speak the Ojibwe language to my friends when I can and continue to learn and practice the teachings that have been passed down from our ancestors.

Now I am going to bring this to a close for now, but and I would like to leave you with some reassurance that if any of you are considering campus life, do not let your fears stand in your way. Take the time to set goals and take each day, one day at a time. Before you know it, your goals and stepping stones will be reached. There are many supports here on campus and I am available in between classes. I even have international students asking me questions and yes, I am approachable.

The Gift of Friendship

How is everyone doing? Have some of you given the University of Manitoba any thought over the holidays for a long term education for a successful career. As for myself, I am near completing another stepping stone of my life in my learning journey. I have about another year to go before I complete a Bachelor of Science and Bachelor of Arts degree. It’s always best to have a backup plan, such as, a plan B. My plan B including the following: Nursing, Social Work, and other health related professions.

Every year there are new beginnings for everyone. We just have to allow ourselves to be open. As for myself, I have decided New Year’s Eve to start dating. My options are open long distance relationships and local. It shouldn’t be too distracting.

As for residence, I am moving at the end of January. I realize that the travelling time to and from school is a lot longer than what I expected.

I would also like to acknowledge the Bonner/Morrison family. My friend who was in the Faculty of Nursing passed away just after New Year’s. She was a great friend to have on my path of learning.  There was never a dull moment with her, she was filled with spirit, and Danielle was extraordinary. She impacted people by being herself. Danielle will be missed by family and the many friends of whom she had crossed paths with in her endeavours.

Until next time, may the choices in life you make on your path be wise. Be safe.
DJ

Tis the Season

It’s that time of year again, where students start to write their examinations for the fall term. After awhile you become accustomed to recognize the repetiveness of things and how it’s routine. Often students set goals by making a schedule for themselves and this allows them to see how much time they have for their social life, studying, and preparation.

How you all enjoying the weather? It’s not too bad here. The weather hardly keeps me indoors. Infact, it has not prevented me from my workouts. I have been attending the Good Life Fitness Centre since September and so far I have lost 22 lbs. I have been eating a lot healthier and taking control on the fatty foods. I am allowed two cheat days, as long as I am faithful five days in a row. But, then again, I don’t always require a cheat day.

I am not sure what I am doing for the holidays. I might go to Fort Alexander, at the moment I am uncertain. It’s still too early to tell, then again I might just keep that time for myself and rest up for the winter term.

I won’t be available until before the new year. Until next be safe, enjoy the gift of giving, and have a Merry Christmas.

Phases

Hello everyone, it’s been a little while. As we go through different phases in life, we realize that other matters tend to take more priority over what we may desire. My mother’s partner of 30 years passed away a few weeks ago. He was in and out of the hospital and more so during these past couple of months. He was strong willed and never gave up on life. His last words to my mother were, “I will always love you”.  My mother cried when she shared those words to me on October 23, 2010, which was the morning of his passing. I remember telling my mother with tears in my eyes, “Mom at least he was able to say I love you one more time. Some partners don’t even get the chance to hear or say I love you before they pass on”. Their love for each other was always expressed in many ways. I call this moment reassuring love.

This past couple of weeks, I have spent the majority of my time catching up on what I missed, maintaining stability, and focus. A few of my midterms went well, but I was not able to get a deferred midterm because of my circumstances for Organic Chem. I wrote it, but I know I could have done better.

Dr. Bret Nickels is running for the Assistant/Associate Professor and Director of the Access Programs and the Aboriginal Focus Programs at the University of Manitoba. I met Bret about three years ago, but it was my first year and I didn’t really know anyone here on campus. It wasn’t until I started staying longer hours here working on assignments and meeting new people. Eventually, others start noticing the regulars at “Ab House” that’s the common term used for Aboriginal House. It has a little ring to it. Bret is very inspiring towards past, present, and future students. I believe he will be a great asset to both programs.

Long Weekends getting you Down

As the long weekend approaches towards special holidays, such as, Thanksgiving we start to miss our loved ones that are back home in our communities. We remember the fond memories that are shared during family gatherings, etc. The transition phase is what helps us cope with our studies. At times it keeps us focused towards reaching our stepping stones, which creates balance and continued supports that we build for ourselves.

Amongst the month of October, it seems like there is no time for family because the midterms are approaching. These midterms vary of course and sometimes we do not have to write them all at once. This allows some time for students to go back home and spend time with family, partner, and children. I was thinking of heading to Pine Falls, MB for a nice turkey dinner, but instead my sister has invited me over for her daughter and grandson’s birthday. At times it seems just like yesterday that they were babies, mainly because when we are busy learning and living healthy we don’t really realize the time passing. Well maybe when we are rushing to get to school on time, because you don’t want to be the student that distracts the teacher or classmates when the lecture is in session. It can be somewhat embarrassing and at times it can not be helped. If you are, it is best you sit in the back of the room. Common sense and being considerate can go hand and hand.

I volunteered with “No more Stolen Sisters” in September. Their mission is to spread the word on violence against women and children. A strong message that can awake an awareness in communities. I am a survivor of family violence, due to unhealthy relationships that affected me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Today, I am changing that cycle of violence that I have experienced. I am attaching the video links. Until next time, be safe.
Miigwech.

DJ

http://www.youtube.com/user/ShowingUpSpeakingOut#p/a/u/2/JbHXOGvPudA

http://www.youtube.com/user/ShowingUpSpeakingOut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLEHRpRmKFs&feature=PlayList&p=383FC3DBCDFD9C4D&index=0&playnext=1

Energizing Effects

Did everyone enjoy their summer break? Today I strolled through the area by Helen Glass where they recently upgraded the landscape at the U of M. The mainstage area had bands playing, with festivities for first year students and returning students. I’d like to add my own welcome to the first year students, mainly because you are blessed with several supports in your endeavours in your learning journey. Sometimes studying in a group may be helpful, but at times studying alone may be more effective. Where I am going with this will depend on the reader.

This past summer I repeated Chemistry 1310; I apparently had missed the prerequisite for Organic Chemistry. I was in a study group at the time, but as the midterms/examinations came closer to the date, I found there were many distractions within the group. There were three of us, and at times the other two would get up to check their emails or to chat on Facebook. I tried the study group, but I found that studying alone was more beneficial. The choice I made put a damper on my grade.

As I proceeded to repeat Chemistry 1310, I thought to myself, “What can I do differently?” I stayed at school more frequently so that I was able to focus on my schoolwork. I spent one night at school studying chemistry with a friend. We sat at separate tables and spoke mainly about Chemistry. We would also help each other out when one of us was unsure of what method to use, usually by having an open discussion. At times we would feel tired, but still had more to cover, so we began to rely on energy drinks. It was not until two days before the midterm, and I knew I had exceeded my limit of energy drinks. I had about four drinks that Saturday and when I awoke Sunday morning, I literally felt hung over. My friend suggested that I needed an energy booster to fix me up. Of course, I had one drink left in the fridge that was chilled, and so I drank it. About two hours later, I was asleep. My supports later encouraged me not to rely on energy drinks when I am feeling tired before studying and/or tests. My advisor at ACCESS said, “They do more harm to a person than good.” After this episode, I passed the midterm and started preparing right away for the final examination. I finished the next two assignments before they were due, and found a quiet spot to study. I would go to the Brodie Centre at the Health Sciences Centre aka Bannatyne campus to study, and I studied at home in the recreation room until my roommate would come home. I would then go up to my room and wind down. These positive changes led me to complete Chemistry 1310 with a “B+” and a “B” in Cultural Anthropology. My Cultural Anthropology course was a replacement for Biology 1020. I found the Cultural Anthropology class to be interesting because I learned about so many places and other people’s cultures. The main point of learning about one’s cultures is done by participation; applying the apparatus.

After completing the final examination on August 23 and checking my final grade in Cultural Anthropology, I was pumped with positive energy. I was asked by my counsellor at ACCESS, “What are you going to do with your time for the two weeks you have off school?” I replied with enthusiasm, “I am going fishing!” This time for myself allowed me to catch up with fixing things around the house and preparing spring rolls. My friends really enjoy these appetizers.

On my fishing escapade the weather was lousy and it was windy for a couple days because of the rain. At the same time I was checking the two dumpsites they have in Pine Falls. In Fort Alexander Reserve where my Gookum was originally from, they have garbage dumpsites on North and South Shore. During my visits to these sites my friend Bev and I came across some bears. On the North Shore site, I remember looking towards the tree by the dump, and lo and behold, and saw last year’s cub looking at me. I started to walk away, and I told my friend that there was a bear. She wasn’t too worried, because she was on her own mission. I felt safe when I saw the wired fence, until I came across bear droppings. I assumed the bears probably crawled under the fence. As I moved my car closer to where my friend Bev was, I noticed that the bear managed to bypass the fence. The cub bear was looking at us, and I kept saying, “There’s food over there,” and I would point in that direction. Finally, the cub bear went and ate. About ten minutes later, I walked by Bev to pick up the items she was throwing close to me. After putting them in the trunk, I wandered up ahead and about 5ft down the hill was a large bear sitting with its back towards me. I went stiff. I turned and walked stiffly towards the car, and I was saying to Bev repeatedly, “There’s a bear over there.” She did not hear me until I was close to the car. I must have been at least 50ft from the car. Bev went to look where I saw the bear and she said, “There’s nothing, just a black garbage bag in the bush.”  It took me awhile to move away from the car without holding onto the door. She showed me where the bag was and I said, “No not there, it was right over there, there were no bushes, and the bear had its back to me… Bev, I know what I saw, and my instinct wouldn’t have responded in that way if it were just a garbage bag.” She later mentioned how fast they can move, and sure enough right by where I had move the car from is where the mother bear had popped up with this year’s cub. Yes, they are so cute when they are small, but protective when they are older.

We had a few things to do in town, and we decided that we would go to the South shore dumpsite. Aside from seeing bears, this little puppy was sitting there; it had come out from beneath an old chair. It must have been at least 8 weeks old, and I wasn’t sure of what to do with this male puppy; it looked part Rottie and part Terrier. Bev told me that if we left him there, he might not make it through the night. Not because of the bears, but the rats at the dumpsite might get him. Apparently, when someone doesn’t want their pets they dump them there so someone else can give them a home. I end up taking him, fed him, and I brought him back to Winnipeg. I end up calling him “Scrapie.” I had him in a large box. I presented him to my sister when I got into the city. As I stood beside the box, I looked up at my sister and said, “Happy Birthday!” As she came closer, she replied “Awe.” I told her how we found him. He is adjusting well with my nieces and nephews.

I recently attended the Harlequin concert, which was for a fundraiser at the Pine Falls Arena where the Kings play. It was my first time seeing them in concert and their next gig is at The Oak in October. I am also applying my voice to karokee nights with Danny Kramer at the McPhillips Street Station on Thursday evenings. The two songs I have sang were “Rose Garden” by Lynn Anderson and “Love will Keep” by the Eagles.

Get your courses here

Did you enjoy the video that I posted in my last submission? Anyways it’s that time of year on campus, when students start coming out of the “wood work”. I have not seen some of my friends since April. It is always a pleasure to see friends continuing into another year of personal achievements. At this time the line-ups start at the Registars Office, because students are concerned about their funding and other issues that occur.

In terms of funding, sponsorship, etc., it is important that students apply early. I usually do my sponsorship letter in February, just my foot remains in the door. I registered this past week and you should of seen the numbers in the screening in the course lists. For instance, how many seats are available, seats filled, and the course slots that remained. I had some major running around to do between the Health Careers Access Programs and the Faculty of Science, I must of made a few trips within a couple of hours that day. As I raced back to the computer, I noticed that some of slots I was trying to register in were filled. “No, no, no,” but of course I managed to find another time slot that was more suitable to my schedule.

As we persevere towards our ultimate goal, in return our hardwork work does have its rewards. My friends told me to apply for the Business Council Bursary Award in February. I was not interested. As the deadline drew closer, my friends kept asking me if I had applied. I thought you had to be in the “Business” to apply. As my friends persisted in asking me again, I said, “You know what, I’ll do it….I’ll apply.” As it turns out, I just received notice a couple weeks ago that I qualify. Also for the past 9 years, Ka Ni Kanichihk Inc., continues to honour and recognise grandmothers for their exceptional work within the community. I was invited to attend this memorable moment and it was such an honour and an emotional event. I was not only moved by Don Burnstick’s jokes, but also by the grandmothers’ stories. The one word that was significant in their stories, besides strength and passion, was LOVE.

Pressures within Itself

Hi it has been awhile. I have had the most hectic schedule this past while. I always wanted to be able to juggle pin balls, tennis balls, etc. The kinds of things that buster boys tend to do. It is ironic to how I am feeling.

These past six weeks I have been packing, moving, and taking on a Biology course. Amongst those tasks, I was trying to keep up with the demands of family, friends, etc. I swear sometimes people actually think I have a saddle on my back. The only thing I see is a backpack and a few pounds of muscle.

I finished moving last Saturday. It seems somewhat overwhelming. The adjusting will take some time. I know that separate anxiety can be a challenge. There are so many memories of the place I moved from, it is somewhat saddening within. I talked with a friend about my sadness and she said, “The place we live is always filled with many memories, relationships we hold, etc. But the most memorable are the ones we get to take with us when we move”. Her words were reassuring.

Last night, I had my first night of sleep; 9 hours. I just got word that I didn’t do as well as I thought I would in Biology. I will take it in the fall, when there is not so much on my plate. Right now I am shopping for other courses that are essential to my undergraduate degree.

I will end this on a good note that my younger sibling got her to older children back in her care. Her grandson is still to come.

I want to thank you all for your continued support and may we make the right choice when it comes down to decision making. Let it not be spontaneous, because the results may not be as prosperous. Make sure you have a set plan in what it may be, because that will be your roadmap.

I will write more next time about the Access Graduation that I attended on May 20, 2010.

Until next time be safe.

Appreciation

“Appreciation”

It is June 14th, my last thought written was on June 3rd. I had mentioned in my last submission that I would write more about the ACCESS graduation that I attended as a guest on May 20, 2010. The dinner was splendid. I have to say that the event gave me some time to decompress from reality. The event could not have been better. There were dancers; jiggers and Scottish dancing, instrumental entertainers, and the bagpipes were even played by one of the Scottish dancers.

Aside from the graduates receiving their awards for Dental hygiene, Law, Nursing, and Bachelor of Arts, etc., there was this one lady that really caught my attention. She was a lady from I believe Nigeria and she had shared a song called “Freedom”. The story behind the song was derived from her home place. This lady shared about a woman that was seen on a street corner, but some of the people that saw her on the street corner, apparently they attended the same church as the woman. She was a quiet woman in the church, but this is where she had found some peace. It was not until one day when the people noticed the woman more frequently on this one particular street corner otherwise known as a corner for “street workers”. The people of the church began to wonder why and what was she was doing there? Of course, questions became of it and soon gossip. However, it was the pastor of the church that finally asked the woman what she wanted in life. The pastor did not pass judgment on this woman. What he did do was help her find her path. She apparently wanted something more than she already had, she wanted to fulfill her childhood dream. The woman was looking towards her future, but did not know how to reach it because she did not have the credentials or the money. The woman only wanted a trade that she was good at and so the pastor and the church members got together and had a meeting. This meeting supported the woman’s needs and the church helped put her through school. She received the proper training she needed to pursue her goal and it was then she had shared her success story. Whether it be in Culinary Arts, a Family Support Worker, Medicine, Nursing, Social Work, etc., anything is possible as long as we believe in ourselves.

As I left the dinner, I empathized with the story that was shared. It had a strong message to those that were listening. It made me realize myself, how many stepping stones are behind me and how many are ahead. The end result of these stepping stones on our learning journey is the multiple rewards it has to offer.

I mentioned before that I did not do as well in Biology as I thought I would. I never bothered to have any Voluntary Withdrawals in a course. Mainly because I was taught that old expression, “Finish what you Started”. I realized the importance of my GPA, I decided to ask for an Authorized Withdrawal. Of course, this is supported by letters of those that I have shared my concerns with about my career goal. I also talked with my sponsor and she is pretty reasonable and understanding when I mentioned the importance of the overall GPA. I was affected emotionally by this, not only because of the grade but the difference it made in my final GPA. If I want to get into Medicine I need to get a higher GPA, otherwise I may as well look for something other than Medicine.
On June 4th one of the students; Lisa at Aboriginal House had made dinner for the staff this spread was with moose meat stew, bannock, fish, Timmy’s cookies, and Timbits. It was recognized as staff appreciation and the students ate afterwards. I was asked if I would cook the following week. My response was, “If you guys want me to cook I can, because I love cooking…how about I make Indian Tacos?” Oh, they sure loved that idea. Lisa and I got together and discussed who would bring what. We were scheduled for Friday to cook this delight, but we were asked by some staff if Thursday, June 10th was possible. I decided later that it was a ‘go’ to cook. My friend Lisa had apparently did not get the Facebook message that was supposedly sent to her. When she showed up, I asked if she can make the second batch of bannock. I had a late start with cooking, because I had a meeting with Student Advocacy, and scooting over to Superstore for some last minute ingredients. The week prior though some staff members missed out, because some students helped themselves before making sure that all staff were served first. 

The Indian Tacos turned out very well. I made sure all ACCESS and the Aboriginal Student Centre staff was served first and then the students. There were so many positive complements on the dinner and some even went up for seconds. I was offered donations, but I refused the offers. There was a lot of hamburger left over and I later discussed with Lisa if she wanted to come in the next day to make chili and bannock.

June 11th, we both arrived about the same time. Of course, we had a head start on the meal. I figured that there was no sense bringing all that cooked hamburger home when I can make something else with it at school. The staff, if I must say… have been pampered. Once again, the dinner was a success, staff members were served first and then the students. As I was sitting there having a bowl of chili, the director of ACCESS wanted to offer me a donation for both meals that were prepared. Student council also mentioned that they would pick up the tab on what I had spent for the meals. This was frustrating and how do you speak up without being frustrated. I was told by council that they can reimburse me for the money and I can also cook at other events. My response of course began with a sigh and my head tilted back saying, “Aah, it’s not about money…it’s about giving back to those that support us students in the decisions we may make. What’s wrong with just giving from the heart, in response to how we feel”. The ACCESS director was deeply moved by my comment and respected my response. She then gave me a hug and told me that ‘I was too kind and that I had a good heart’. My friend from Council still couldn’t believe that I would not accept anything. There was a good container of leftover chili, so I gave it to my sister and her children.

One of the teachings I learned as a child is that when you give someone something, you don’t look back on how much was spent or the time that was put into it. You do it because you want to and not because you have to. If people would just look at or pay attention to just being themselves, others will see the impact it has and realize that there is some much more to offer in our life surroundings.

June 13th, my tutor friend Sheryl and I have been working on a project the past little while. It was completed this past weekend and my long time friend Leslie had assisted us in making a video to put on Youtube. Apparently, she also added the video to Facebook. Sheryl and I made a Michel Faucault puppet together. The idea started when my 2nd year Sociology professor had presented the tinniest Michel Faucault finger puppet in class as a prop for one of the lectures. Even though I was sitting in the front row, I have to admit, I had the darndest time trying to see what the professor was trying to exhibit. I can’t wait to see the expression on his face when we present him with this gift. He may not have received a plaque for best teacher, but it’s how he impacts students by being himself in class. By this I mean, sharing life experiences and applying them to certain lectures.

Life events always to seem have a way of working themselves out, if we let these events run its course. The tools we only need to apply are the seven teachings in life: love, respect, courage, honesty, wisdom, humility, and truth. Some of us may not of been brought in the cultural awareness settings, but if we look at how we were raised; we can see that these teachings were passed down without being said. In my case, it is shown… in the nurturing of our parents at birth, enfant stages, learning to walk, and growth and development, etc. Do you see what I mean? The teachings were always there, we just didn’t know it.

Until next time, be safe and enjoy the video. Miigwech.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2cPDjmNwf8

Taking the First Step

As some of you may know the final examinations for Winter 2010 are nearly finished. I was actually finished on the 17th of this month. I excelled in two of my courses and the other results are still pending.

My schedule is somewhat full these past couple weeks. The studio I was involved with for 7 years needed my assistance in moving. I realized that other participants who were in the workshops were not around when it came to the big move. My friend Pat and I have always been around for most events and moves. During the move my friend kept saying that we were “the last three standing” when the ship was sinking. The metaphor speaks for itself and our dedication to the organization. The founder and director Edith of Crossing Communities Art Project is going set up base in her home, but there will not be any workshops with any participants for some time. She figures that the program will be up and running in about eight months.

I spent time with my younger sister today and I helped her with her first smudge and feast. I was unable to participate fully because of moontime, my main role was guiding her through each step by talking. I gave her privacy while she prayed and I mentioned that her prayer should be from the heart. I have not made any trips to travel far, only in Manitoba to participate in a ceremony for my niece who went to journey on into the spirit world two years ago April 28, 2008. This coming Friday, my sister will also be getting custody of some of her children and the older two children will come home in one month, and her grandson in the following month. I am proud of my younger sister in how far she has come in her growth. She has made so many changes and once her children are in daycare, she is considering going back to school. She mentioned how sometimes she has to read an application several times before she can fill it out. I told her that happens to some people and if she would consider maybe taking some upgrading. She seemed interested in the idea. During these past six months, she reminds me of myself in the changes she has made and the social supports she has gained from this process. It takes me back to my first step almost six years ago. The sudden death of our brother brought on a lot changes within me and it was an eye opener.

My sister and I reminisced today about her daughter, our father, and our brother. We realized as we were sharing that we knew something more of our loved ones and less of the other or visa versa. This was mainly based on our own personal experiences that we spent with loved ones. Which brings me to this question, do we really know our siblings, parents, partners, etc? I have to say no, because everything is a lifelong learning process. For instance, education, marriage, friendships, etc., we may journey at some point together and at times lose touch of each other over the years. Then there are times when we cross paths with someone whom we have not seen in years. The journey continues but we still do not know everything there is to know about someone.

Now, if I were to connect with everyone that I have journeyed with as far back as my childhood and asked them if they could tell me something about the friendship we shared, I am sure they would come up with a paragraph or two. I have never really kept track of the people I met in number, because there were many. Visualize a subway train in New York City, people are coming and going, some are in a hurry with just enough time to touch base or a sign of acknowledgement. I know I would not get a full story of myself from the people I have journeyed with because some have passed on and I only share what I need to; what is relevant.

As for this coming semester I will be taking Biology. I may have some time for fishing. I always look forward to the summer and fall fishing in Manitoba. As far as my living arrangements go, it is time for me to move after 6.5 years. There is a large increase in rent and because I am on a fixed budget, I do not want to worry about the difference. I will be staying with a longtime friend, where I will have my private space. I have started to move stuff in slowly, but my move will be complete in a month. I gave a lot of my furniture to my younger sister since she is starting over. Some of the items she couldn’t believe I was parting with, because I neither worked hard for them or the items had some kind of significance. Items I had received through a saving circle, etc.

Until next time be safe and enjoy the good weather.